Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Kid Twist vs Escroll (The lost battle)

Alright, I wasn’t originally planning on doing this. But I’ve realized that if I’m really going to go over my battling history, I need to mention this one. Let me start off by saying that as far as I know, there’s no video of this battle anywhere, and I’m just fine with that.

The event took place a few weeks after my very first battle where I faced Dominance and Prolific. It was all the way in Ottawa, but on paper it looked incredibly legit: a $1000 prize, and hosted by the one and only Juice (yes, that Juice). After driving to our nation’s great capital and getting harassed by twenty-five homeless guys in my first two minutes of being there (seriously, if anyone’s from the city, please tell me what the hell that’s about) I made it to the venue.

There were two major things wrong with this battle: 1) There was no crowd. 2) There were no rappers. After having my first opponent no-show, I ended up facing Ottawa battle champ Escroll in the second round. I said some good stuff, but unfortunately the beat was way too high and the mics were shit, so the few people that were there didn’t catch a thing. I’ve never heard a room be so silent.

For the record, I compared Escroll to Steve-O from Jackass and said that he looked like he fell down a twelve-step program. I also made a rhyme off his shirt’s logo, which was “Triple Threat” – something like, “Licking balls, getting stuffed, and taking dick to the neck, yeah he’s a Triple Threat.” He said that I wore women’s jeans and joined the swimming team. But admittedly, he completely destroyed me on stage presence alone, so much respect to him.

The only good thing about that night was Juice’s hosting. Organik got completely jerked in the first round against a kid named Ghettosocks (Disclaimer: Ghettosocks makes amazing music, go listen to it. But Organik ate his soul.) There was a great judging panel that included Pumpkinhead, but for some reason all the decisions were based entirely on crowd reaction. After the jerking, Juice said, “That’s alright. The same thing happened to me against Supernatural.”

Someone who was from Toronto took issue with Organik’s loss and exchanged a few words with the judges, which ended up with Pumpkinhead punching him in the face. Juice’s response: “That reminded me of some Southside Chicago shit, except everyone’s still alive.”

Other than that, the battle was pretty much a bust. I did get me vs. Escroll on tape, but since you can’t hear anything, I ended up erasing it. The best part of the whole trip was the steak and eggs I had for breakfast at a random pub the next morning. They were fantastic.

No comments: