Kid Twist vs Prolific (Part Two)

For some reason, sequels are just never as good as the original.

Let me say that there was a lot of tension between Prolific and I at this event. After the first battle blew up on YouTube, I think we both felt like we had a lot to prove. And based on that previous bout as well as his other verses that night, I really was not expecting him to come at me like he did. His whole first round, I was thinking, “Fuck. I should’ve prepared more.”

Out of the footage I have online, I would say this is my worst performance by far. I was really trying to focus on my delivery, so I would actually have a little bit of, you know, stage presence – it kind of worked against Mumbles, but not so much here. I just sound like I have a terrible sinus infection.

Best part of this video: Organik’s reactions to our lines. Watch the far right of the screen and you’ll see him once in a while, jumping around like a spider monkey (WRC joke).

Worst part of this video: the chick standing RIGHT BESIDE the camera who refuses to stop her drunken screaming. She didn’t even come with Prolific, she was the girlfriend of one of the other rappers who performed that night. I love her reaction when I tell her to shut the fuck up: “That’s dirty.”

Also, the punchline that Prolific could’ve sworn was going to be “facial skin” was actually, “This dude’s falling off faster than the roof on Olympic Stadium.” Check the link and you’ll understand the reference. For some reason no one got it, despite the fact that it was minor news 9 years ago.

So yeah, a deserved loss in my opinion. But the real loss is that Prolific cut his hair after this, and I never got to compare him to Garth from Wayne’s World.

Kid Twist vs Mr. Mumbles

This took place at the next installment of Proud to Be Eh Battle Emcee (where I faced Prolific for the first time). It’s actually the semi-finals. In the first round, I went up against a kid named Spit Circuit – he choked pretty badly, and my performance wasn’t great, so I never uploaded the video. I don’t think I even have it anymore. The only I good thing I said was, “You would finish dead last battling a special ed class.” So there you go.

There’s a few lines here that might be funnier with an explanation, especially if you’re not from Toronto. 416 is the area code for the city; 905 is the burbs. Mumbles is a proud suburbanite, so he named his record label 905th Brigade, which is what it said on his T-shirt. That’s where those area code lines came from.

He had done a set that night as well, which is why I said I wanted my money back. Also, before the battle happened, I was standing on stage waiting for about 15 minutes while he had a cigarette outside. Thus the smoke break reference.

My favourite part of the battle is when he says he’s going to steal my girl. She was standing right beside the camera, so when he did that line, he was literally inches away from her. Most awkward battle moment ever.

I kept the T-shirt, by the way. It was in my closet for a bit. Then I donated it to Goodwill.

Cameo appearance: Future WRC partners Organik and Knamelis, as judges.

Kid Twist vs Escroll (The lost battle)

Alright, I wasn’t originally planning on doing this. But I’ve realized that if I’m really going to go over my battling history, I need to mention this one. Let me start off by saying that as far as I know, there’s no video of this battle anywhere, and I’m just fine with that.

The event took place a few weeks after my very first battle where I faced Dominance and Prolific. It was all the way in Ottawa, but on paper it looked incredibly legit: a $1000 prize, and hosted by the one and only Juice (yes, that Juice). After driving to our nation’s great capital and getting harassed by twenty-five homeless guys in my first two minutes of being there (seriously, if anyone’s from the city, please tell me what the hell that’s about) I made it to the venue.

There were two major things wrong with this battle: 1) There was no crowd. 2) There were no rappers. After having my first opponent no-show, I ended up facing Ottawa battle champ Escroll in the second round. I said some good stuff, but unfortunately the beat was way too high and the mics were shit, so the few people that were there didn’t catch a thing. I’ve never heard a room be so silent.

For the record, I compared Escroll to Steve-O from Jackass and said that he looked like he fell down a twelve-step program. I also made a rhyme off his shirt’s logo, which was “Triple Threat” – something like, “Licking balls, getting stuffed, and taking dick to the neck, yeah he’s a Triple Threat.” He said that I wore women’s jeans and joined the swimming team. But admittedly, he completely destroyed me on stage presence alone, so much respect to him.

The only good thing about that night was Juice’s hosting. Organik got completely jerked in the first round against a kid named Ghettosocks (Disclaimer: Ghettosocks makes amazing music, go listen to it. But Organik ate his soul.) There was a great judging panel that included Pumpkinhead, but for some reason all the decisions were based entirely on crowd reaction. After the jerking, Juice said, “That’s alright. The same thing happened to me against Supernatural.”

Someone who was from Toronto took issue with Organik’s loss and exchanged a few words with the judges, which ended up with Pumpkinhead punching him in the face. Juice’s response: “That reminded me of some Southside Chicago shit, except everyone’s still alive.”

Other than that, the battle was pretty much a bust. I did get me vs. Escroll on tape, but since you can’t hear anything, I ended up erasing it. The best part of the whole trip was the steak and eggs I had for breakfast at a random pub the next morning. They were fantastic.

Kid Twist vs Prolific (Part One)

Here’s the reason that a couple of people knew my name when I entered the WRC. Before this, the only footage I had seen of Prolific was the small clip of his battle with Illmaculate from the Spin the Mic trailer. I thought he was going to be really tall.

I still get a lot of comments on YouTube saying that this battle is great, but in all honesty I feel my performance was really lacking. Horrible voice cracks, awkward stage presence, and rapping that was kind of on beat sometimes. Oh, and the accidental (I swear) biting of Iron’s “Kurt Cobain/burst your brain” scheme. The Spinal Tap, Jesus, and impression lines are the shit though.

After the loss I ended up bouncing, but my friend with the camera stayed and recorded the next rounds, which included Organik beating Prolific en route to winning the event. I’ve always really wanted to see that battle – unfortunately, I’m not in touch with the guy who has it anymore, so I doubt it will ever surface.

I do remember Organik saying that it was almost going to be a three-way final (before a couple more emcees showed up) and he would’ve wanted it to be me, him, and Pro. Imagine if it had happened that way. Insanity.

Also, the crowd at this battle was actually pretty small. So when you hear the big reactions, it’s because literally everyone in the room is going nuts.

Kid Twist vs Dominance

This is the first stage battle I ever did. It’s one of my favourites to this day, for the simple fact that I walked into this place completely unknown, wearing incredibly tight jeans, and ended up blowing everyone away.

Another thing I like about this clip is that everything I said, I came up with while I was at the venue, and most of it was thought up while Dominance was rapping. As opposed to JumpOff, where you have six months to write a full-length novel for everyone.

People who have only seen this on YouTube might not get why my first line was so funny. Basically, they handed out slips of paper to all the battlers with numbers on them, and I got number 4. But the handwriting was so bad that from the wrong angle it looked like a 1. So I went up first, only to have the promoter tell me “That’s a 4, homey,” which got quite a few laughs. I knew I had to use that or I’d have no crowd support from the start. So I did.

Also, you can’t see in the video, but Dominance’s shirt had a poorly drawn gun on it and said “Decrease the Peace.” Which explains my closer in the first verse.

And for anyone who doesn’t know what DJ Starting From Scratch looks like (he spins on Flow 93.5, so he’s kind of a local celebrity), let me tell you this comparison was DEAD on. Much more on point than me being Pee Wee Herman, despite the fact that line’s been repeated by pretty much everyone else who’s battled me ever. Oh well.